2003-04-26 - 4:52 a.m.

A new point in my life has begun. I just relized it tonight.

I never have had anyine in my life who meant so much. To see you in so much pain hurt, it hurt alot and I relized that I have never cried for anyone but myself before tonight. I know now that you mean so much to me. I have never had that overwheling feeling. I cry for myself but tonight I cried for you it was the most purly unselfish thing I have done in years. I can't stand to see you pain. I want you to be okay. I want everything to be okay for you. this relization hit me like a ton of bricks. I may not always be a good rock but my reasons for being a rock were so i didn't have to hurt. Now I want to be a rock so you don't have to hurt, I want you to relize what a beautiful person you are.

I really have never seen it before but now I know it's not just words coming out of my mouth, i know it's true.

Your smart, funny, insightful, always worth having around, stunningly beautiful, glamourous in more ways that I can count. I'm not just feeding you a load of shit, I really do believe this.

I wish you didn't have to hurt.

I wish you knew all these things about yourself.

I love you.

and nothing will ever change that.

really! nothing will ever change that.

here's to you always being worth something, even if it does not feel like it. YOu are your sonething to me.

I'm sorry you have to suffer.

I wish you didn't. I could repeat that over and over and over again. I wish you happiness.

most of all I wish you joy.

I love you.

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