2003-02-27 - 5:39 p.m.

I think I'm going to be okay.

At least I hope so. I only cried a little today. not a lot and that's good right? Sure I miss him, sure it rips me apart. I used to say horrible things to him. Like "Why your not going to marry me anyway?" that's the fear that it was true. Maybe somewhere deep in the back of my mind I believed that we weren't forever but at the same time I have never felt such loss.

When he left I relized a lot of things about us. I know he wasn't happy all the time but frankly who is? I know we had fights, never as bad as brad and I did but fights.

God just get over it.

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